LAS VEGAS—Emphasizing that the high-traffic, high-impact areas could have far-reaching ramifications for the spread of coronavirus, porn industry leaders held a press conference Monday to announce the immediate closure of all orifices.
“Although this was a difficult decision, as of this morning, we have ordered a nationwide closure of all slits, gashes, holes, and cracks until this global pandemic passes,” said Vivid Entertainment spokesperson Anthony Ufford, adding that while the shutdown could unfortunately leave many workers with no place to bust a nut or totally unable to get deep-dicked for weeks, it was ultimately the right thing to do.
“We understand this is frustrating for many of our customers, but the fact of the matter is, the more holes that we can keep empty and unfilled, the more fingers, fists, and rock-hard cocks we can keep healthy during this difficult time. Once this is over, we assure you, faces will go back to being f*u*c*ked, and pinkies will be back in the stink as soon as possible.”
At press time, Ufford added that during the closure, he had also ordered every orifice to undergo a thorough deep-clean before reopening.
Here are a couple of other HELPFUL THINGS:
>>> EMAIL TO MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY:
Just a quick note:
First, I want to thank Julie for sending last week's money before she went on vacation -- and I hope you had a great time, wherever you went!!! And I want to thank Mike for sending $100.00 labeled "Armageddon" -- LOL!!!
ALSO, I am very pleased to report that although a year ago, my New Hanover County and Atty. Gen. Josh Stein of NC BOTH sued five pharmaceuticals companies for pushing Opioids and contributing to the MASSIVE problem here of Opioid Addictions. Since then Mr. Stein has gotten HUGE financial fines from the OTHER four companies, but Julie's Teva Pharmaceuticals has not been mentioned since, so I assume they were deemed not really a problem (or perhaps they settled quickly and quietly).
I assume Mike and Julie went to work today, but who knows how long that will last??? The last couple of days, many hot men wearing only running shorts (and other people), have been walking and jogging the trail by my apartment. I have kept my mouth closed (flirting or for other purposes), but just LOVE all the HOT SPRING EYE-CANDY!!!
Men like this, and like this:
The other tenants in my building are even crazier than me (OK, maybe not), Gray Hunter has been holed up making costumes in his apartment while his new car is in the body shop (his latest accident broke out one of his huge tail-lights). EVERYONE HERE has been having lots of minor traffic accidents because they smoke too much pot and then drive. Rob McKinney in the front apartment has NO CAR NOW AT ALL -- and hopes to raise $2,000.00 to buy one. This caused him to have a MARIJUANA FIRE SALE.
Allie Ryan in the front apartment upstairs continues to have lots of visitors, and Rob asked me if I thought it would be cool if he tried to sell her some pot -- so they ARE NOT in business together (or not that Rob remembers -- LOL!!!). NONE of them are a threat to Public Safety -- except when they are driving on roads.
The biggest reason I am writing is to say that while Mom has actually found some EMPATHY, she is still fleeing logic regarding her new Savior, Donald Trump, who Mom says is doing GREAT, but that I just don't understand him. I beg to differ with that, but not to Mom. She no longer has any real Political Power. She was so upset that not going to Sunday Mass she would NOT be able to take the Eucharist which is her LIFE-BLOOD (so to speak).
This afternoon, when I called to tell Mom that the Home Health Care Nurse came out today before going to only once per week, she measured my wound 5 cm long -- it started 10 cm long (about 6 inches), and of course uninfected, clean, etc., Mom was her usual self, so after a few weeks of NO EUCHARIST and remaining herself, perhaps she will realize she never needed "Cannibal Communion" after all!!!
But I doubt it. Her understanding of Roman Catholicism is close to the OPPOSITE of the clergy and staff at St. Mary's Basilica Church, several of whom told me they are EMBARRASSED that people like Coach Lou Holtz, John Boehner, Justice Clarence Thomas, Newt Gingrich, and Sean Hannity claim they are Catholics!!! I would add Joe Biden and many Democrats to that list -- but then everyone knows I support Bernie Sanders.
SADLY, Ohio is likely postponing their in-person voting tomorrow (ADDED: No, Courts would NOT allow a delay. @11:35 PM: Ohio's Governor somehow gets a delay!!!), and I don't know that the other primaries (if not also delayed), will give enough evidence of WHICH Democrat can realistically get the nomination. I'd hoped we'd get that tomorrow, and then I could get more excited about Bernie -- or resign myself to having to vote for P.O.S. Joe Biden, like I had to vote for Hillary four years ago.
One thing is certain: ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN in today's atmosphere. HELL, maybe Donald Trump will get SAVED BY JESUS and act like a REAL CHRISTIAN instead of like Beelzebub, himself -- HA!!!
Baptism or Drowning -- only JESUS knows!!!
Well, all best to all of you!!!
Love,
Scott
>>> FINAL THOUGHTS:
Italian coronavirus victims over 80 will not receive treatment if situation worsens under emergency plans, as PM warns country is entering its 'riskiest weeks'.
Officials warn it may be impossible to treat every virus patient in intensive care.
Plans drawn up in Turin propose that criteria 'must include age of less than 80'.
Doctors have described making life-or-death decisions over who will be treated.
Prime minister Giuseppe Conte warned that 'we have not yet reached the peak'.
Coronavirus symptoms: what are they and should you see a doctor?
"Black humor is like food...not everyone gets it." -- Joseph Stalin
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