This is a photo of Kevin Maurer Meyer
Freifechter Vervain of Fredricksburg, Texas – the FIRST photo I found of a
Kevin Maurer when I tried to research him before he hit the NATIONAL PRESS.
And besides more obvious peculiarities, the
fact that his THIRD name is the same as my mother’s original LAST name (and
he’s obese like Mom was most of her adult life), sent me into a further tizzy.
In June of 2012, when Kevin Maurer, author of
NO EASY DAY, the run-away best-seller about the killing of Osama Bin Laden,
contacted me saying he was a big reader of my blog and interested in my story –
which he interviewed me by phone about (and I had no idea who he was – his book
had not yet even been announced) – my WEIRD-DAR went off like CRAZY, and
eventually I accused Kevin of EVERY crime under the sun. And frankly, it was
probably motivated subconsciously by the HUGE CRUSH I developed on Kevin after
seeing THIS photo of him at his City Desk at the WILMINGTON (North Carolina)
STAR NEWS – I mean REALLY – how bizarre that this author was ALSO connected to
“HIGH PRESS” in HELL!!!
Just LOOK at this DreamBoat – what man or
woman WOULDN'T want to take Kevin home (and that woman is cute as hell, too),
and he’s voluntarily gone into battles beside US Marines MANY TIMES in
Afghanistan to get his stories, so he’s ONE TUFF DUDE as well (and I SERIOUSLY
doubt he kept going to Afghanistan because of a secret heroin addiction).
Well, google my name and Kevin’s together to
find all my silliness from back then, but now it is time to acknowledge my
mistakes of YESTERDAY, after I’ve set you up to see things HUMOROUSLY:
1. Yesterday, I wrote the TRUTH about my mother so all could
see THE FATE SHE HAS EARNED. That
said, I hope she escapes at least punishment – if not prosecution (which I will
NOT push for).
2. As a “Point of Order”, let me disclose that “Classmate”,
used yesterday and a name too cold, will now be “Clasmato”, which sounds
vaguely Italo-Japanese, and suggests Clamato – the BEST THING ever done to a
tomato (not counting everything else -- or that it is ACTUALLY mostly made of
salt). And my easy and only POSSIBLY actual mistake is that there is some
confusion about whether or not the wealthy branch of the Kenan Family actually
HAS that Royal Line, but between the fact that they seem to HONOR the better
Traditions, AND in their “class” they are so intermarried with Blue Bloods of
all descriptions, they are LUCKY their blood isn’t so blue they look like
walking varicose veins!!!
And the more
TROUBLING thing that happened is my theory of passing NAZI secrets via
Duplicate Bridge. This came entirely out of my imagination in early 2010 – and
for a year or more, I thought it made sense. But why on earth would Mom (who
really NEVER communicates these things in ways that leave paper or electronic
trails), need to go to that trouble when Coach Lou Holtz (who really IS John
Boehner’s best friend and closest Republican Party strategist), lived across
the street. The only possibility of its being useful would be to give EVERYONE
THERE a general heads up on something, without TALKING about it, thereby
increasing the possibility of someone forgetting NOT to talk about it
“loosely”.
What is even WORSE,
is that while writing it yesterday, I had TOTALLY FOGOTTEN that I had long ago
abandoned this cockamamie theory, and only realized this when I woke up this
morning with CATS in my bed (instead of Kevin), and realized what a FOOL I had
been to have written that way.
An ADDITIONAL
peculiarity is that I had not considered that Clasmato’s blog, BRIDGE AND
BEYOND, might actually be about Governor Soprano and the Chris Christie Bridge.
3. Now, CNN continues to pop back and forth in and out of
REALITY, which makes it more and more entertaining, TWO young ladies getting my
attention, especially.
As I have recently
called her, Anna Navarro really DOES seem to be a very nice person who is also
a scared little fat girl (BTW: I’m glad to be seeing more of Kevin Madden, the
ONE conservative who jokes about political tactics played by HIS OWN PARTY –
not just Democrats who do less of that. He worked for Mitt Romney, and while
Kevin is clearly the smarter, BOTH these guys seem CLUELESS to the end results
of many theories they espouse – but that does NOT come from meanness like MOST
Republicans). And with all the tea and sympathy the viewing audience loves to
send Anna, this morning she made a SUPER-HOOTIE error: In trying to establish
some “Educated Bono Fides”, she used the Latin term co-opted for English, “ad
nauseum” – but TWICE AND LOUDLY mispronounced it as ahd-NOW-zee-um.
I mean, REALLY!!!
The second person
who always grabs my attention, is Ms. Nischelle Turner. She began at FOX NEWS
as a sports reporter – so I assume she began in the area where she had depth of
knowledge – then Time Warner brought her to CNN to spread WORSHIP OF CELEBRITY
(keeping people distracted by such excitements – rather than DOING SOMETHING
with their lives – is a TOTAL GOD-HATING ENDEAVOR, although we ALL being
voyeurs, it has to be expected to some extent).
Now although it
took me NINE WHOLE MONTHS, I finally got over her saying last spring that Ethyl
Merman was the Kim Kardashadoodle of her day – which makes Justin Bieber the
modern Brando. She missed any actual Cultural Education. But that is NOT what I
realized while watching her this morning with her hair all relaxin’ on her
shoulders and her eyes looking completely normal.
You see, Nischelle
Turner, with her hairs pulled back and a HOT CELEBRITY STORY, actually POPS HER
EYES and connects with a DEEP AMERICAN RACIAL STEREOTYPE, the Pop-Eyed
Pickaninny!!!
And since her
stories are often delicious, we pretend to focus only on them, but what REALLY
happens is that CNN’s bosses at Republican Time/Warner are subconsciously
bringing a long-ago mostly abandoned racist IMAGE and planting it STRONGLY IN
THE FRONT of our minds – so if all goes well for the NAZIs, we’ll have that
stereotype in mind to confirm their claims about black folk.
I’ve told you that
in both God’s and “The Devil’s” Worlds, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
HIGH and GAY
The main
intersection in West Chester, Pennsylvania is High and Gay – which I do NOT
believe caused us to turn out more drug addicts or homos than any other town. “Meet
you at High and Gay” was the call of teenagers planning SOME KIND of trouble
back then. I dare say that we, having that experience, young, most developed a
sense of HUMOR about these things now, rather than forming lynch mobs.
4. Yes, readers, there is MORE peculiarity to West Chester,
Pennsylvania than that Coretta Scott King during my tenure hid there among
family after MLK was assassinated – or even that Henderson High School’s alma
mater’s MUSIC was written by an alum, Samuel Barber, most noted for his “Adagio
for Strings” (hope I’m remembering the name correctly), that was the
SUPER-HAUNTING music played when Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s body was hauled on
a caisson through the streets before burial.
Henderson High band
members HAD TO BE SKILLED to play Barber’s music – and in fact, the BEST
ASSEMBLIES that school ever had was concerts by BIG BAND/SWING sub-group – when
WE were all SOCK-HOPPIN’ to the SUPREMES!!! And WHY were we sock-hoppin’ to
those women??? Because WE WON THE REGIONAL RADIO STATION CONTEST of getting the
MOST people to call in to nominate a high school King or Queen (but it must
have been for King, since I do not recall being nominated).
Now, as I think
about it, we REALLY DID, as our winnings, have the Supremes THERE IN OUR SCHOOL
lip-synching three of their hits, other songs being normal sock-hop without
attending artists – but this MIGHT have been earlier – at North Junior High
(but I doubt it).
The Warriors were
the BEST sports teams in S.E. Pennsylvania (football and basketball OFTEN going
to State Championships – and my parents’ closest friend, Ed Malikowski, was
Athletic Director – as well as Director of Sun Oil’s summer day camp for
children of employees in Marcus Hook).
And don’t forget
THE BLUE HOLE, then a private quarry-turned-swimming hole, NOW where rain
drains from a Walmart parking lot.
The BLUE HOLE, today.
THEM wuz the DAYS!!!
>>> IN CLOSING, I’d like to say that if you AREN’T starting to get my
HUMOR, you might/could be BRAIN DEAD – so AVOID ALL CORONERS!!!
Scott
>>> LATE BREAKING SHOCKER!!!:
It has just now (as I go to post this posting), become CLEAR
that Clasmato is ACTUALLY from my Whetstone High School graduating class in
Columbus, Ohio, PROVING beyond a SHADOW OF A DOUBT that the Class of 1969 (at
least in THESE two locations) in now TOTALLY DEMENTED (with a class year like
that you KNOW we were all up to NO GOOD).
THERAPY: Hoist a Perfect Texas Kate Martini Cocktail (One ½ cap
of Dry Vermouth, a generous 5-count of Tanqueray Gin, ice CUBES – shaken and
poured in toto into a low, bottom-heavy glass and garnished with a couple of pimento
olives. I prefer to stick the olives on a twist-tape from a bread wrapper – a sort
of modern updatement to the look), to being high and gay (won’t affect the
sexuality of actual straight people).
Drink and repeat.
BOTH my high school were
Native American Teams-Named (awkward), and I being about 1`/16 Cherokee, THAT
was eventually brought out in my personality – just like Kenan being a Scot
name, Scott for a first name AMPLIFIES that part of me – no offense to other
Kenans.
.
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